Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Not Happening

Wasn't one of the perks of getting older supposed to be increased self-assurance? I appear to be missing that one in my benefits package. I feel like I'm more nervous and anxious and worried about what I can and can't do than I ever have been. It bothers me.

I got my hair cut this afternoon. Same style I've gotten for the past year, I guess, only slightly shorter. It's fine, really, but when Ebbie and his daughter came home, it took me forever to go downstairs because I was suddenly convinced that it looked awful.

I'm usually not this fixated on my appearance, really, despite the recent posts to the contrary. I must be having my mid-life crisis a little early or something.

I need to find my way out of this mess, because until I come to the realization that I do know a few things and maybe I am worth something, all of the parts of my life I'm not particularly enamored of won't go anywhere: the tedious work situation, the not writing, the not socializing...I guess they are the main ones, they don't look so bad here, I know, but they feel huge.

Hopefully I'll get back to writing about things less whiny sometime soon, but I wouldn't expect it until around the end of July, just so the seven or so of you are aware.

Have a nice weekend.


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