Searching for Rhythm

Yes, I'm nearly two-thirds of the way through this career experiment, and I can't say it's going as well as I'd hoped. I have written and submitted two articles for which I have reasonably high hopes of being paid, but I haven't been drumming up much other work.

I am having a hard time establishing a routine. I was planning to do Nano again this year, but that ended practically before it began. I seem to have lost my touch for speed-written novels, which bums me out, to be honest.

I want to write every day, but I manage to paralyze myself before I even pick up a pen or put fingers to keyboard (including posting here, obviously). I have gotten a bit better in the past few days (it may be premature, but work with me here) and I'm hoping it's the beginning of a trend. Next I need to actually start querying magazines to see if I can round up other paying work. Something I should have done a couple of months ago, yes, I know. I've been thinking about it, but the idea of putting myself out there terrifies me.

D'ya think I should get over that if I want to earn my living this way, maybe?

Thing is, as dismally as the past couple of months have been in terms of productivity, I just can't face the thought of going back to a full-time administrative job, which is what will happen if I can't find a way to make this work. I know I need to find a better way to look at that prospect, but right now it feels like, well, like beige...

Blah, blah, blah...

As to knitting, Ribby is practically done, and it fits. It is practically done because I am afraid of screwing up the zipper. I want it to be done, I want to wear it, anyone want to put a zipper in a sweater (kidding, mostly)?

(this post has quite a theme, maybe I should have titled it "Stupid Things I'm Afraid Of")

I also knit Koolhaas from Interweave's holiday issue, and I'm working on Knucks, although I'm going to skip the embellishment; the recipient prefers utilitarian gear. I love my new hat, and one of these days I'll get around to taking a photo of it. It felt a bit fiddly to start with, but I finished it in a week and learned how to cable without a cable needle.

Well, talk about random. I guess I'd better quit while I'm ahead.