Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Thanksgiving and No-Nano

I'm in what I presume are tryptophan induced doldrums. We went to his step-mother's for dinner, it was nice, although I was out of my element in a house full of people I barely knew.

I don't do well in groups, especially when they are groups of unfamiliar people. I spent a lot of time out on the deck or wandering from room to room after dinner.

I haven't heard from any of my family, not that I really expected to, and I could call them just as easily, but I'm using my discomfort with picking up the telephone as the excuse for not doing that.

I haven't heard any more about my sister or my new nephew, but the folks should be home in a few days anyway.

I don't think I'm going to finish my Nano this time around. Part of me feels like it is yet another failure, but part of me really isn't too concerned. I've done maybe 500 words since the 2600 word Saturday, and I haven't even uploaded those. The story could be good, but it's not right now and I'm not sure how to make it so.

I know all the conventional wisdom about terrible first drafts, but I just can't make myself sit and work on it. All I really feel like doing is turning on the evil box and zoning out, but he is actually recording and accomplishing something and I don't want to disrupt that.

I wish I could get into the holidays more, but I usually just feel dragged down by them more than anything else. I have a free day tomorrow -- no work, no kid duty -- and I have a feeling I won't leave the house because the Black Friday crowds will be insane. This despite the fact that I have shopping that I should do.

I'm still waffling about grad school, I haven't gotten my information about the program yet. Should I get a study book and take the exam just in case? Should I look at the information first? Is it even something I am seriously considering?

I don't know the answers to any of those questions, and I don't know that I will any time soon.

Maybe a piece of pumpkin loaf and vanilla ice cream will cheer me up.


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