Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Monday, October 17, 2005


So, I've been here for thirteen days (rather than twelve as noted earlier), and not only am I not entirely sure of my place in the community, I've also already found myself counting weeks and days until I go home.

I don't hate it here, and I am enjoying the experience to an extent, but I don't think I have figured out entirely how I'm supposed to be here and what I am supposed to be getting out of it.

I came to step away from my life for a bit, figure out how I wanted to approach things, and gain a new perspective on work and life. I'm not entirely sure that's going to happen.

I'm living in a dorm with 20 women, eating meals in a dining hall three times a day, and working a job I'm not particularly suited to. I guess that's what makes it a learning experience.

The worst thing is the crying, or the feeling of being about to cry. I don't particularly like to cry, but it tends to happen when I get frustrated with a situation. I wasn't on the work schedule in my department until halfway through my first day of work, which was five days after I'd arrived. I was faced with the prospect of addressing large groups of people on a regular basis, the thought of which terrifies me (unfortunately, they're really big on facing one's fears in this program)...I didn't necessarily burst into tears at these prospects, but I felt that I faced them weakly, which isn't really a problem as far as the people in the program are concerned, but it is a problem as far as I'm concerned.

I've had the past two days off and haven't had the urge to cry once. I'd say that fact doesn't bode well for the time remaining between now and December 6th.

I am working on a sock, which I cast on within mere hours of arriving here, and am on the gusset decreases. It is Mountain Colors Bearfoot Sock Yarn in Crazy Woman, quite appropriate as far as I'm concerned.

I'll get into Rhinebeck another day.


At 2:46 PM, Blogger Bookish Wendy said...

Keep your chin up! You're outside of your comfort zone, I think that a bit of crying is probably okay and good for you. ;) Sending good thoughts your way.


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