Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

"Shall we have a look?"

Today is my nephew's birthday. He should have turned three, there should have been a birthday party. Those things didn't happen. I left work before noon because I couldn't deal with being there anymore, I couldn't concentrate on anything. I went to the cemetery instead.

The day was still overcast and the grass at the gravesite was still wet from the morning's fog. I hadn't been to the gravesite since the funeral, so it was the first time I'd seen the simple marker--just his name and the years he was born and died (2001 - 2004). The potted plant from the funeral with the Sesame Street bandaids decorating the terra cotta pot was still there, along with a newly placed Arthur the Aardvark juice box. I talked to him for a few minutes, cried a little, and hoped there really was a way that my grandmother would be looking out for him wherever they may be.

He was such a bright happy little boy and I miss him terribly. I knew I would have a hard time today, but it's worse than I thought it would be. I keep telling myself to remember the good times, and I do, but I can't help also thinking about the fact that there won't be any more of them.

I'm sorry this is so morose and inarticulate, I just had to put it up somewhere.


At 7:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for you.

At 4:47 PM, Blogger wrtrmaus said...

Thank you for your kind thoughts, they were appreciated. Today was a better day, actually.


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