Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Limbo

I applied for something, I'd love to get it, but I'm not counting on anything. But I really want it because it sounds perfect for me and I'm so ready for a change at this point. I've been at registrar world for just over four years now and I'm going nuts. There are some things and people I enjoy about the day job, but there are plenty more that make me crazy, like the high boredom factor.

Today I sat at a meeting and a "webinar", but I did get lunch and a really incredible dessert paid for in between. This was an exciting day in the scheme of things.

I'm going to skip dance lessons tonight, I don't feel like going by myself, I need to get up to take my car to a 7 am oil change appointment, and he has to be here during normal class time to watch an auction for a piece of recording equipment. Maybe we can find music and practice while he's waiting.

What I should do is sit down and get some writing done, I've been a slacker lately in that area. I have things on my mind that I just can't get around, even though there is nothing I can do about them. I have finished the exercise for #7, I just need to get it typed and posted. I have read #8, but haven't started it yet. One of these days I'm going to get caught up and back in the swing of writing and editing. Maybe I should start meditating or something, help get my mind calmed and centered. Help!

I'm still really boring here, aren't I? I'm not quite sure what to do about it, but for now I'm not going to worry about it. I don't even know if anyone but me reads this thing anyway. I guess adding comments would be a way to find out.

Oh, I may need to take time off in March, my friend is coming in from LA for a few days, and who knows when I'll see her again.

Off to start typing #7 in to Action Outline before he needs the computer for auction watch.

Friday, February 20, 2004

Reading Not Writing

Okay, that's not entirely true, I spent a little time yesterday writing impressions of After Dachau by Daniel Quinn, the book I read the day before. But that doesn't count since it didn't make much sense and it didn't get finished. The book was good and unexpected. I read And Now You Can Go by Vendela Vida today. It was also good, but not nearly so unexpected.

I was interested in it, though, structure-wise, because it was written in first person. Most of my still-unfinished nano is in first person, and I'm thinking that I'm using way too many words. Not that I've sat down and read over what I have, it's just the impression I get.

Family stuff is just getting stranger and making more depressed. I think it's what caused the headache that felt like a steel rod pressing into my forehead above my left eye. I had it most of the day. I didn't take anything, maybe I thought it was penance for something. For not wanting to thing about all of the family weirdness?

Now I have ex-husband weirdness on top of it, I agreed to a favor I'm not sure I want to have agreed to at this point. Three years of blessed silence, then he calls my parents and me because he wants something. I never want to call him because I want something. I wish he felt the same way.

Boy noise on the verge of bed. He works a double tomorrow, so I'll share space with small ones for five hours while he's gone. I'm hoping I no longer have the headache.

Tomorrow will be the day to work on assignment #7, I'd like to get it in before #8 is posted, just for kicks.

It was warm and melting today, but all I wanted to do is hibernate. Eight-thirty on a Friday night and all I want to do is curl up in bed. Minor depression has dragged itself into my head and chest. A visit with a friend on Sunday will, hopefully, help banish it for a bit.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Miniscule Progress

I finally posted a piece for last week's Only A Novel assignment, nearly a week and a half late. I'll be glad when things get resolved and my subconscious releases my brain to do the things I normally do with it.

I am lending him my car tomorrow due to a misfortune with a flat and a mis-sized spare, so I'll spend my lunch hour at the library, I think. I haven't done that for a while, which is a shame because it's only a couple of blocks away from work.

No racquetball tonight due to the car trouble, so the new racquets will have to be tested next week.

Time for sleep, maybe tomorrow will be more profound.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Slow Weekend

Not doing much, don't expect that to change.

The soccer delivery errand went well, I got into cheering and everything. Afterwards, I engaged in retail self-torture for a couple of hours and came away with a pair of brown loafers.

I need to post last week's Only A Novel assignment, I need to finish it first. I copied everything into Action Outline so that I have it organized offline as well.

I watched Monsoon Wedding last night and enjoyed it a great deal. I recently renewed my Blockbuster membership so that I can work at chipping away at my long list of to-be-seen movies.

More disturbing news on the freaky family front, I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm not writing much these days. I'm coping pretty well in my day-to-day life, but things beyond the bare minimum of work, racquetball, and dance classes (commitments with other people) just aren't getting accomplished. I wish I could snap out of it, but until things are resolved in a satisfactory way, I don't see how I can. I worry.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Lag Time

Yes, it's been two weeks since I've put anything here. It's been a strange two weeks. Freaky family things I don't feel comfortable putting up for ...well, not quite... the world to see, and work stuff that was just too annoying to comment on. Besides, I haven't been writing, so it felt wrong to post somehow, even though posting would have been writing, which may have gotten me to do more, non-post, writing.

We finished the five week dance lessons and started them over again. I was told I wasn't quite ready for the intermediate classes, so we are doing the beginner level again. Hearing that stung a bit initially, but I know she is right. I love to dance, but I'm not very good at it. I'm not terribly coordinated and my feet are constructed in such a way as to interfere with proper balance. I'm having fun, though, we learned the tango during the last class of the first session and the promenade turn for foxtrot in the first class of this session. And he's not not enjoying himself this time around as well.

Other amounts to not much. I'm trying to fix my wardrobe, which is severely lacking in style and substance, but I'm not very good at it. I need someone to go shopping with me and tell me what works and what doesn't.

I'm in a funk that I can't seem to pull myself out of. I don't quite know what to do about it, to tell the truth. More updates another time.