Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Sunday, June 26, 2005


To the untrained eye, it would appear that I spent most of my day here, wasting time. I did spend a great deal of time clicking absently at brightly-colored graphics, but my mind was elsewhere. The games helped keep me occupied enough to let my mind wander freely, or something...knitting would have taken just a bit too much concentration.

I have come to the realization that something has got to give. There are parts of my life that are just no longer worth expending energy on in quite the way I am doing it. As a result, I sent three emails about which I will keep my fingers crossed. I will continue doing that sort of activity for the next month, if necessary, then reevaluate my position. Yes, I'm being vague, sorry.

Yesterday was nice, in spite of the mid-90s heat and attendant humidity. I have a friend whose family has a cottage in Mt. Gretna. He is spending a long weekend there this weekend and invited people to drop in if they wanted to.

I dithered about it for a while, until I realized that I should definitely take advantage of an honest-to-goodness social invitation. There were three other adults and a wee baby who also came to visit, and we spent the afternoon chatting (I worked on Clapotis) on the porch of the cottage. In the evening we had a great vegetarian dinner, then mama and baby left. The most of the rest of us trooped down to the ice cream shop (one of the area's major draws) for dessert, then came back and, after coating ourselves with bug repellent, played Trivial Pursuit.

It was nice, I didn't feel out of place or anxious the way I usually do in social situations. (I will admit I have wondered whether they really enjoyed my company or if they were just tolerating me -- I need get over it, whatever it is, don't I?) I wore my MDS&W t-shirt for the first time, and answered a few questions about what I was working on. I need to find or create more opportunities to do things like that more often.

On the other hand, in the second day of this heat, I was content to stay home as lightly dressed as possible, drinking water in front of a fan.

Hope you all had enjoyable weekends.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Not Happening

Wasn't one of the perks of getting older supposed to be increased self-assurance? I appear to be missing that one in my benefits package. I feel like I'm more nervous and anxious and worried about what I can and can't do than I ever have been. It bothers me.

I got my hair cut this afternoon. Same style I've gotten for the past year, I guess, only slightly shorter. It's fine, really, but when Ebbie and his daughter came home, it took me forever to go downstairs because I was suddenly convinced that it looked awful.

I'm usually not this fixated on my appearance, really, despite the recent posts to the contrary. I must be having my mid-life crisis a little early or something.

I need to find my way out of this mess, because until I come to the realization that I do know a few things and maybe I am worth something, all of the parts of my life I'm not particularly enamored of won't go anywhere: the tedious work situation, the not writing, the not socializing...I guess they are the main ones, they don't look so bad here, I know, but they feel huge.

Hopefully I'll get back to writing about things less whiny sometime soon, but I wouldn't expect it until around the end of July, just so the seven or so of you are aware.

Have a nice weekend.

Saturday, June 18, 2005


Do you ever get completely overwhelmed by all of the stuff in your life? I'm talking about physical things, not even touching the mental or emotional. I am currently going through this overwhelming period. It was what precipitated last weekend's running away from home. Though, considering I was allegedly trying to get away from stuff, I managed to take an awful lot of it with me.

I didn't run far, and I didn't do any real sightseeing. I stayed in a nice hotel, with my knitting, a book or two, and a notebook and pen to keep me company. Well, that's what I brought, anyway. I also spent a lot of time watching HGTV, TLC, and the Food Network. I don't have, and don't particularly want, cable at home, but I like watching redecorating shows, of both the home and human variety. I got my fill.

The two days I spent out of my home environment, by myself, clarified the feeling that my stuff was getting to me. I spent some time writing about simplifying things and thinking about what I'd need to do corral my stuff.

I had Monday and Tuesday off again last week. I spent Monday cleaning the top part of my desk at home and getting rid of filed paperwork that absolutely did not need to stay. It felt good and looks a lot better.

Tuesday I got a start on a bookshelf, but made minimal progress.

Wednesday I remembered to get mailing boxes from the post office for things I had that belonged to other people. You'll notice I said "had." I managed to pack and address the boxes Wednesday evening, even writing notes on stashed postcards I was apparently saving for "someday." No, I'm not in Paris, but it was fun to enclose a card from there anyway.

Today I did my wardrobe, in a big way. The laundry had just been done, so I brought it and the suitcase with three things I had put away until cooler weather up to the bedroom. I emptied all of my dresser drawers and my closet onto my bed, piling things according to what they were.

Once I had everything out, I began putting it away, making notes on how many of each thing I had (I discovered I need to go underwear shopping, SOON). I looked at everything. I just plain threw some things away, and I bagged up a bunch of things to donate. Even with three grocery bags of stuff to donate, I still have plenty of clothes.

I realized that I could pack more away for the summer than I initially had. I also realized that I don't wear most of my clothing as often as I could. I'm hoping that now that I have looked it all over in as much detail as I have, I'll have a better idea of what is available, and won't feel like as much of a frump when I get dressed for work.

I'm going to continue working with my stuff for a while, because I still have plenty to whip into shape. I'm pretty sure that the reason for this digging in, or digging out, is my impending 35-ness. It's still over a month away, but I'm starting to feel its shadow. I'm guessing that 35 must mean actual grown-up status to me, or something, considering some of the things, aside from dealing with stuff, I'm trying to sort out.

I didn't do much knitting this past week, none, in fact, between Sunday afternoon and today. I did a bit of a sock today, ripping out and casting on for the third time... but there'll be more on that later. If I'd have gotten more than four hours of sleep last night, I might have worked on Clapotis this evening, but it won't happen.

I'm not buying any more yarn for a very long time. I have a bigger surplus than I am actually comfortable with, so I will be knitting exclusively from stash for the foreseeable future. I guess that means I feel like I can, in fact, have too much yarn.

I hope you are all comfortable and secure with your stuff, the overwhelm is not a pretty place to be.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Running Away From Home

Yep. I'm running away from home for a couple of days, just me and my knitting in a hotel room until Sunday. I'll tell you all about it when I come home.

Enjoy your collective weekend.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Drippy, sticky, melting hot, 90F and high humidity hot.

Not knitting because my left hand and wrist are very sore, not sure why. Started something new on Sunday, finished my neverending socks yesterday.

There are three baby Robins and a set of very protective parents in the tree out front. You should see my baby bird impression, it's a doozy.

Need to lay quietly in front of a fan now, gearing up for a trip to Saturn tomorrow, warp technology and all...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Long Absence, Sorry

I don't know why I haven't posted for a while, I guess I haven't thought I had much interesting to say.

I thought of a couple of things:

1. Last weekend my mom gave me a large bag containing 30 balls of Patons Pure Wool Superwash (DK) in colors Aster, Granite, and Evergreen. 10 balls of each, for which she paid a grand total of $3.00! Yes, I'm not missing any zeroes, three dollars, total. I have no idea what I'm going to use them for yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

2. When I was talking to her about the amazingly cheap wool ($3.00/30 balls!!), she told me a story about a fleece she acquired at some point. She doesn't knit much and spins only occasionally and only in her role as docent at a living history museum. So, she got a fleece, and it was dirty and greasy, and she knew she would need to wash it before she could do anything with it.

You know the end yet? How about the middle? Sure you do...

She filled a tub with HOT SOAPY water, put the fleece in it, and commenced to swish and scrub to get rid of all of that dirt and grease... and ended up with the world's largest piece of semi-dirty, semi-greasy felt. I don't think she's done anything else with a fleece since, as far as I know. But I didn't know about that one until last weekend.

I try not to laugh at my mother's mistakes as a rule, especially not when she's telling me about them, but I couldn't help it. At least we were both laughing.

3. I finished my dad's socks last night, they are currently reclining in front of a fan after their bath. I'll give them to him tomorrow. They should have gone much more quickly than they did, but we won't think about that.

I think that's it for the moment. I'll try to be back sooner next time, but I make no guarantees.