Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Slightly Better

Not so much on the edge at this very second, but have a public speaking engagement in the morning, so one never can tell.

I finished my latest dishcloth, and if I ever buy batteries again, I'll show it to you. Cast on for a potential kneesock, but haven't gotten much further than that yet (had to pick up a cast on stitch within the first half of the first row).

Spent part of the weekend helping to grout tiles at my parents' place; I'm not particularly good at it, but not terrible either, it turns out.

So, yes, slightly better, but the jury's still out about the whole (un-pc) nervous breakdown thing.

Hope all of our weeks are better than the last one was.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's Bad Form to Cry at Work

I hate crying at work, it's not good for anyone. And, yet, two out of the past three days, I've done exactly that.

I'm two-and-a-half weeks into a three month assignment, an assignment I'm really happy to have, working with good people on a worthwhile endeavor. And I'm finding myself dissolving into tears. It's not really the work, although I do have a dozen people or more asking for things, and I'm terrified of letting something slip through the cracks, because my boss went to bat to put me in the assignment and I really want to do a good job. But I think the crying is more from outside stuff than work stuff, even though I'm not so much crying at home.

Does anyone know what a nervous breakdown looks like, because I'm thinking my edges may be crumbling, and I'm not entirely sure what to do to shore myself up.

I'm still working on the garterlac dishcloth. It's not that complicated once you get into the rhythm of it, it's just that I haven't had much time to knit lately.

I need to find some balance in my life. The advice I got today (from my supervisor) was to throw myself into my work and not think about anything else but work while I'm there. Problem is, I don't have that work-only override switch. I can do my work fine, but if a thought pops into my head, or an anxiety attack sneaks up on me, I can't just ignore it because I'm at work. Wish I could, but I know me well enough to know it doesn't work that way for me.

Of course, both days I've cried, once the crying was over, I was fine. I didn't cry anymore, the anxiety abated, and my mood actually lifted. Just. so. frustrating.

So, now that that's off my chest, I need to go to bed, because I have a 7:30 meeting, a noon meeting, and a full day of other stuff (not crying, please) between them and 5:00.

Oh, and Rosie, thanks for your kind comment on my post about falling. Sorry I didn't respond, things have been a bit odd (see above).

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Couple Weeks Shy of a Year

Remember last year when I did this? Well, I fell again today. Not down any stairs, but I was wearing heels (which I've gotten fairly good in -- not Sarah Jessica Parker good, but not generally teetery and...well, anyway...) and I somehow managed to twist my left foot, lose my balance, and go down on the sidewalk on the way to my car this morning. I scraped my right knee and had to find bandaids as soon as I got to work. Yeah, fun.

I limped around okay at work, but I have to say that it really sort of hurts right now. I'm hoping it feels better in the morning, because otherwise I'm going to have a heck of a time getting downstairs to go to work.

On the knitting front, I'm doing dishcloths and a random number log cabin with leftover dishcloth yarn. I've done four slipstitch ones and tonight started this "garterlac" one. Maybe someday I'll put new batteries in my camera and take some photos, but I'm not making any promises.

Hope all is well.