Syndactyl Salutations

Thoughts on writing, knitting, and the world around me.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's Bad Form to Cry at Work

I hate crying at work, it's not good for anyone. And, yet, two out of the past three days, I've done exactly that.

I'm two-and-a-half weeks into a three month assignment, an assignment I'm really happy to have, working with good people on a worthwhile endeavor. And I'm finding myself dissolving into tears. It's not really the work, although I do have a dozen people or more asking for things, and I'm terrified of letting something slip through the cracks, because my boss went to bat to put me in the assignment and I really want to do a good job. But I think the crying is more from outside stuff than work stuff, even though I'm not so much crying at home.

Does anyone know what a nervous breakdown looks like, because I'm thinking my edges may be crumbling, and I'm not entirely sure what to do to shore myself up.

I'm still working on the garterlac dishcloth. It's not that complicated once you get into the rhythm of it, it's just that I haven't had much time to knit lately.

I need to find some balance in my life. The advice I got today (from my supervisor) was to throw myself into my work and not think about anything else but work while I'm there. Problem is, I don't have that work-only override switch. I can do my work fine, but if a thought pops into my head, or an anxiety attack sneaks up on me, I can't just ignore it because I'm at work. Wish I could, but I know me well enough to know it doesn't work that way for me.

Of course, both days I've cried, once the crying was over, I was fine. I didn't cry anymore, the anxiety abated, and my mood actually lifted. Just. so. frustrating.

So, now that that's off my chest, I need to go to bed, because I have a 7:30 meeting, a noon meeting, and a full day of other stuff (not crying, please) between them and 5:00.

Oh, and Rosie, thanks for your kind comment on my post about falling. Sorry I didn't respond, things have been a bit odd (see above).


At 6:25 AM, Blogger Kate said...

Thinking of you, Faith-- hope things even out some, and we'd love to see you at SnB some night!


Post a Comment

<< Home